God Bless Stay at Home Moms

Day One 

Day One of being a temporary stay-at-home Mom was easy peasy!  In fairness, we opened Christmas presents on day one so the distractions were never-ending and everyone was happy and perfect in every way!  Plus, my partner in crime was by my side and handling four boys between the two of us is an equation that always seems to work out nicely.  My partner handed out endless batteries and untwisted those unmanageable ties used to keep things in their boxes while I cooked a ham and cleaned up the leftover twisty things wherever they happened to drop, which was seemingly everywhere.  Everyone went to bed happy and exhausted declaring this was the best Christmas yet…mission accomplished.

Day Two

My partner in crime headed to work and four still very happy boys woke up at their leisure.  They emerged to eat breakfast and retreated to different areas of the house armed with their electronic devices.  There was important stuff to do, games to download, music to listen to, statuses to update, and races to be won.  Everything went so smoothly I was lulled into a false sense of security and started the laundry and more clean up while giving them space to be kids.  When batteries needed to be recharged, literally, they all appeared again to plug themselves in and what ensued was a rousing game of poker.  None of the boys know the rules so in true form they made them up and changed them when convenient.  When the shrieks and yells got louder I decided to take a look and found four boys delightedly rolling all over the poker mat.  I have come to accept that since I am a girl I do not understand what boys love so much about rolling around on the floor.  Especially that floor which is littered with dirty clothes that never quite made it to the laundry basket, books, toys, and a discarded toothbrush.  I suggested lunch and having quelled them somewhat I went to make it.  I was barely out of the room before the craziness started again; nothing ill-natured, merely the shenanigans of an energetic bunch who probably should be made to go outside and expend some energy.  Lunch was served and what followed was the rowdiest, noisiest, silliest meal I have ever witnessed.  These four boys quite literally laughed at anything, the goofier the better; if it didn’t make any sense at all it was hilarious! These four boys had somehow multiplied exponentially and had become like handling ten.  I could not fathom these creatures but placed my hope in the fact that I admire several men, my partner in crime, my Dad, some good friends included, who have turned out well and they were probably like this once.  After lunch we headed to the YMCA where they swam for over an hour quite contentedly while I turned up my music and ran and rowed their craziness out of my bones.  In the lobby I saw a good friend I hadn’t seen in a while and we sat and caught up while the boys were getting dressed.  Eventually I had them all in my sights and we chatted a bit longer and when I looked up they were all looking at me with that lack of understanding I had at lunch when looking at them.  It’s true; men and women are from different planets.  I chuckled and bundled them into the car.

Day Three   

  

At 10 on the nose I announced that electronic devices would shortly be shut off and they would be exiting the building.  There were no arguments and I think they were as ready as I was to do what comes naturally to them.  It took a while for the plan to be finalized but eventually they were heading out the door clad in snow pants, jackets and boots.  When they returned at noon they were filthy, covered in mud from head to toe.  I had made soup and sandwiches and baked muffins since I was pretending to be a pro at this sort of stuff and everyone settled down to lunch.  They were back to their normal selves, which should probably be defined as ravenous punctuated by telling a story which was picked up by the next boy whenever a bite was taken or chewing was required.  We went swimming again and I was affirmed that the key to boy happiness and my sanity was mud, water and food.  Too much time in the virtual world was not good for any of us!

Day Four 

I went to get my hair done while my partner in crime took over.  I can only imagine that in the life of a true angel, a.k.a stay at home Mom, this day is eagerly awaited every few weeks.  The chance to not repeat oneself or have every conversation somehow end up with references to bodily functions is priceless.  When I returned to the tribe I was called Missy, in a semi-accusatory manner, by a teenager as if I had abandoned them.  I think that was a way of welcoming me back and missing me while I was gone, one can never be too sure with this crowd.  What I do know is that stay at home Moms are truly underestimated.  They must have the patience of saints, and the ability to ignore at least fifty percent of what they hear and not be as literal as I am about the other fifty!  I have several days left as a temporary stay at home Mom and I’m a work in progress so hopefully I will continue to evolve.  Most importantly, I do love these boys so if I run into my husband’s arms when he comes home it’s because I love him too  ;o)