This Rooster

It is Chinese New Year so I looked up my zodiac sign for some insight into 2012. I was born in the year of the Rooster and found out that the forecast is great and the future is bright!  As far as instructions go, those contained in my outlook are clear to me so while not someone who traditionally reads my horoscope, I cannot imagine that perhaps allowing this to influence my actions can hurt at all.  Rather, if this direction only serves to help me be more aware of my communication and those around me, I would consider this a successful year.

“The main thing for Rooster is a goal and an idea which he should strive to achieve, otherwise his activities would lose their meaning, and he risks just staying in a place in his development. In addition to absolute leadership inclinations, great ambitions in the year 2012 of the Black Water Dragon will require from him the ability to communicate, work in teams, actively and quickly respond to problems and be more attentive to close ones.” [i]

I get excited when I read this.  No promises are made, no guarantees of amazing good fortune, nothing more than good wholesome personal responsibility.  If I want more I must strive, work hard, and expect that not everything will always go exactly as planned.  This is known as personal development and I need it as much, if not more than the next Rooster.  This may not preclude me from whining or feeling a bit sorry for myself from time to time, however I now confer on every reader the right to tell me to snap out of it when I do.

I agree my communication could use some work.  No surprise to anyone that knows me that I am considered a “Controller” according to a recent personality type assessment.  I have always had a tendency to be a wee bit bossy, as well as a master of understatement apparently!  This heavily influences my communication style; I interrupt, I think I know the answer before the question has been asked, and I sometimes give directions without asking others’ opinions (especially if you live with me and are under the age of fourteen).

Sometimes, these communication flaws mitigate my ability to work well on teams, although I genuinely love team work.  The camaraderie, the insights into self and others, and the results are more rewarding than being successful alone, which is rarely possible in my experience anyway.  I need to listen more and talk less and I will be a better team player.

I believe I am good at responding to problems, creatively and tactically.  I can usually tell the difference between a problem that needs more information before action should ensue and when immediate action needs to be taken.  The only exception concerns my boys.  On those thankfully rare occasions when they are hurt, truly hurt and in unbearable pain I cannot function normally and other people have to give me short easy instructions to follow. 

This leads nicely to the final piece of my 2012 outlook; to be more attentive to close ones.  I have realized recently that being busy, getting everyone where they need, and providing is not the same as being attentive.  I want to really listen to our boys and to my husband and my friends with a willingness to learn.  I’m going to dig deep this year and even though the rooster is not known for flying very far, I hope to soar.

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[i] http://www.gotohoroscope.com/2012/chinese-2012-horoscope-rooster.html

Spinning Plates

My partner in crime used an analogy this week to which I could instantly relate.  He spoke of plates spinning on sticks, and trying to balance them all.  My plates are the fellas, supporting the love of my life as he builds a business of his own, being a good Mum and Stepmum, writing, my career, and working out.  The plates are all ones I want to balance and sometimes that act is filled with empowering adrenalin and at other times with stress, guilt and feelings of failure.  

Sometimes the plates seem to grow from saucers to dinner platters and spin out of control and at others they whirl in synch making a harmonious humming sound that is pleasing to the ear.  This week has been a typical week in our lives, filled with fun and activity and people needing to be in different places at different times.  It has been a week of balancing spinning plates and trying not to let any fall.  On Monday we let everyone settle back into their routine having returned to school for a couple of days the previous week.  The plates are spinning at a medium pace and nothing looks like it is ready to topple.  

On Tuesday we did a little divide and conquer with one parent heading with one boy to soccer sign up and one with the other three fellas to shop for jeans.  I learned that the only acceptable jean color for one is black, the only acceptable style for another is skinny, and that the other is very easy to work with and therefore he was the only one that found acceptable jeans that evening!  The plates are spinning but wobbling a little bit too because one boy has two pairs of jeans to make it through the entire week; this means more laundry, another plate on another stick.  

On Wednesday our teenager called to say that his finger had been jammed in his locker.  My immediate reaction was that this was a big plate on a very thin stick ready to launch into mid-air.  Thankfully, he seemed to be calling more because the school had asked him to than because he was in dire distress.  I spoke to the school nurse who suggested I might want to come and take a look at the fingernail just in case.  I headed out the door with another boy in tow, performed a school drop off and headed to the other school.  The fingernail was not a pretty sight but fortunately not swollen.  We agreed he would tough it out and I returned to the car to head to work.  I arrived thirty minutes after my intended arrival time.  No plates had fallen although a couple had started to slip.  After school we headed out for haircuts something we had planned for that week so we were healthily on track.  The plates slowed down a little as I sat peacefully waiting for handsome shorn boys to reappear and I started to consider what I might write about this week.  My theory is that if I write at least once a week I will develop a habit I can grow, otherwise, the plate that falls and shatters is my writing plate.  Thinking about it in retrospect, Wednesday was a good plate day because we even made a trip to the gym in the evening.  

On Thursday I worked from home for half the day and took the other half off because we had a couple of appointments.  One was to send off passport applications which is quite an undertaking between American and British birth certificates and a Green card.  The plates are spinning at a fast pace prior to arrival at the Post Office, breakneck speed when I see the length of the line, and then slower when we realize that there is no-one in the line for passport applications.  The Post Office is a plate all of its own and I do not think that requires any explanation.  We make it in and out in 35 minutes which I consider to be a tremendous success.

On Friday I felt like I erased several tasks from my list at work which made that plate spin in a perfectly balanced fashion.  I really like it when that happens.  I came home at a reasonable time and all the fellas were interested in skating so we took four happy campers, plus friends, fed them all and let them tire at the skating rink.  The somewhat lame adults stationed themselves in a booth with their laptops and worked on designs and websites.  Although we sat hip to hip, we couldn’t hear each other over the loud music but worked away harmoniously side by side.  We had made it through another week without shattering any plates!  A fruitful week at work, happy fellas, working alongside my partner, and jotting down an idea that matured into this -  that is the ultimate plate balancing act! 

Late Resolutions

It is a very good thing that one of my resolutions is not to start being on time because I would have already epically, as the fellas like to say, failed!  I would be at least ten days overdue with this blog and would lack credibility on a monumental scale.  The truth is I probably would never dream of making being on time a resolution because I am not wired to succeed.  I know this in the very core of my being and I am not going to fight it.  I decided some time ago that I would try to do a better job of being on time and those very words demonstrate the lukewarm nature of my determination.  I do try; I simply do not aspire to be a leader in this area.  It is within my reach as much as being an astronaut is and I am simply not motivated by feeling either great disappointment when I am late or a rush of achievement when I am early.

I should caveat a little by explaining that certain events are inviolable.  I am never late when catching a flight, attending a wedding or a funeral, a doctor’s appointment, or a graduation ceremony.  Somehow these have carved out their own illogical category in my mind and I am not late for them.  My brain calculates and functions differently which tells me that I could be on time more than I am.  The rest of the time I am rarely drastically late.  It is usually only by a few minutes and it is because of two things.  First and foremost, I believe that I can slip in just one more thing before I leave.  In the morning that is putting in another load of laundry or feeding our plump little guinea pigs before I go and at work it is one final email before the next conference call.  Secondly, I fail to plan for certain events; I might be tracking to be on time and then I remember that we need to put out the recycling.  When joining conference calls I forget that I have to retrieve the code and dial the number before I am actually able to join the call.  It sounds so simple when I write it down and yet I make this mistake with frightening consistency.

While I may sound cavalier about my lack of expertise in this life skill, I do recognize that this really irritates some personalities.  My best friend is always punctual.  I am not sure why she puts up with me actually but thankfully she has adjusted, by which I mean she has lowered, her expectations to accommodate me.  Because I know that being late bothers some people in ways I cannot imagine I try my very hardest to be on time with them.  I could try to blame my inconsistency on being busy but I love being busy and active and I am typically a few minutes late whether I have one thing going on or twenty.  Certainly I have proven my point that I should not be resolving to be on time!

My resolutions?  I have scaled back my latte from the giant to the big because it was too much milk.  I still have my delicious daily coffee fix and the wonderful experience which comes with it when I visit my Starbucks family everyday so I cannot really convince anyone that I am depriving myself.  I am back at the gym and have been working on diversity in my workouts even though my temptation is to stick with workouts I know I can conquer.  I’ve reintroduced running and while it’s literally baby steps I’m making progress.  The big one that feels like a vote by me for me is that I have been working on some other pieces of writing as well as submitting some of my blogs to writing sites.  I’m trying to get more coverage and learn to be a better writer.  I could certainly “fail” at the first two resolutions but I don’t see how I can fail in the last.  Success may take longer or take a different direction or require re-writes but little by little I’ll get better.  Welcome 2012!