We had a bit of a scare this week! We had three boys in three different summer camps, I had corporate visitors descending and needed to look and act the part of some semi-together business leader, and there were a total of eight hockey games to attend in the first three evenings of the week. Starting at 8am on Monday, it felt like most minutes were accounted for and we were working to a strict schedule to ensure that everyone made it to the right place at the right time with the right sack lunch and not dressed in last year’s Halloween costume.
I could see the light at the end of the tunnel when on Wednesday I left work knowing we had successfully navigated a potentially tough 3-hour working session in the afternoon and that soon hockey would be on hiatus for a few weeks. I love watching our boys play hockey; the games are physical, they require strategy and team work and the progress made by each of the boys is tangible week over week. The first game was barely underway and our Number 7 had already assisted two goals and was aggressively pursuing the puck again with a member of the opposite team in hot pursuit. It is unclear what happened next but he hit the wall and seemingly bounced back in slow motion and lay stretched out on his back and was not moving. I watched but my legs were not working and instead I focused on a guy who leapt over the wall and knelt down and started gently feeling the neck and spine and asking questions. I could hear him as he asked “Are you nauseous? Can you tell me your name?” I was in that dream I have sometimes where I need to get somewhere but nothing works and I can only watch as if from a distance, limbs not working and voice unheard. The whole place was quiet and the rest of the players were on one knee as a measure of respect to the man down. I finally made it from my traditional place on the wall to a new place that put me closer to my resilient little boy who was now crying and scared. I wanted him to get up so badly but I did not know what to say to him or what to do. Given that I have evacuated buildings in emergencies, witnessed people in the workplace in medical distress and taken the correct actions calmly and methodically, and assured my best friend at the time that we were not going to die in a plane that had an engine on fire even though I had no way of knowing that, I expected my bossy gene to kick in and to take charge; but this was different.
My thoughts were not processing and our boy needed someone to take charge and help him. The man who had jumped the barricade to assist looked me right in the eye and firmly said, “He’s going to be fine but he may have a concussion and you need to take him to the Emergency Room to be checked out.” All I could say was “Shall I do that now?” I hope that man does not think I am an idiot but in that moment I was an idiot. It is different when you are helping someone else. It is easier to be calm and objective and it is reasonable to expect your brain to function but I was hearing instructions from a distance and I was not processing anything at my usual speed.
We left the rink to a standing ovation and the fresh air of outside hit me and I came to. We whisked our dazed boy, who was looking less pale and more like himself by the second, to the Emergency Room and started the endless wait that accompanies these visits. After a while he put the precautionary barf bag they gave him on his head like a pointy hat and I squeezed my husband’s strong hand that had been cradling mine knowing there would be a full recovery, but we stayed for x-rays and got the all clear first. Number 7 is well, no harm was done and it was all a distant memory by morning and I basked in the intensity and beauty of the love we have for our children. I was reminded of some things this week, first and foremost that I am great in a crisis unless it involves our children! Secondly, you can plan every moment until life happens and when you get thrown off course there’s nothing you can do about it. Thirdly, I really love my husband and our boys and there is no other single thing that comes close to that :)
No comments:
Post a Comment